


The Thief Not Caught Is a Queen

by valahallalmalla



Category: Raya and the Last Dragon (2021)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Actual tuk tuk Tuk Tuk, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Conbaby Noi, F/F, Gen, Getaway Driver Boun, Hacker Sisu, Heist AU, Humor, Just 1k after 1k of high-octane flirting tbh, Muscle Tong, Romance, Secret Agent Namaari, Three monkeys in a trench coat, Tomb Raider Raya
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-14
Updated: 2021-03-19
Packaged: 2021-03-21 22:13:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30028602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/valahallalmalla/pseuds/valahallalmalla
Summary: “I can't believe you have ababyon your crew.”“I had to hire the baby! The monkeys refused to work with anyone else!”Namaari stares at the woman in the opposite cell. Then, slowly, deliberately, she knocks her forehead against the bars.“Howareyoumy biggest competition?”Namaari is a highly-trained government agent. Raya is a glorified grave robber and magnet for the absurd. It shouldn’t even be a contest, and yet... here they are....Namaari and Raya are master thieves, each set on gathering the five keys that open the legendary Dragon Vault of Kumandra. After years of heated rivalry, the search for the final key leads them to Talon Floating Resort & Casino, where backs are stabbed, lines are crossed, and limits are tested on both sides...
Relationships: Namaari & Raya (Disney), Namaari & Sisu (Disney), Namaari/Raya (Disney)
Comments: 42
Kudos: 178





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So! I only sort of know where this story is going. It's nothing too serious, just an excuse for Namaari and Raya to banter and compete and trade meaningful glances against the backdrop of a classic caper.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

The stranger looks as guilty as Namaari feels.

Both women are frozen; the stranger with her hand still on the door she just exited, Namaari mid-stride toward that very same room. The standoff lasts for a long second before the other woman grins and waves.

“Hiya!” she calls. “What’re you doin’ here?”

“What am _I_ doing here?” Namaari echoes, doing her best to act righteously suspicious. She’s the one in the Talon Casino security uniform after all. Stolen, obviously, but the stranger can't know that. “What are _you_ doing here? There’s no maintenance scheduled for today.”

The other woman is also in uniform, the baggy blue-grey jumpsuit worn by all Talon’s tech staff. It doesn’t quite fit, the sleeves flopping back and forth when she shrugs, but that’s not necessarily suspicious. Maybe she just has weirdly short arms.

What _is_ suspicious is the face she makes as she tries to think up an excuse. “Yup, yup,” the techie mutters. “Nothing scheduled, sure. I just... was... napping!” She pauses, considering this, then nods. “Right, napping... in the server room. Because... it’s warm. And... I like the hum.” Another pause, another nod. “Yeah, that holds together,” she says under her breath.

Namaari stares.

“Aaanyway,” says the stranger, eyeing Namaari’s lilac suit. “There weren’t any security patrols on the schedule either. It’s, um, _not_ suspicious that I know that because, uh... I checked! So I wouldn’t get caught—caught sleeping on the job, I mean, not... caught installing a remote access into the security servers.” She _very obviously_ shoves something into her pocket. “I mean, whaaat? Who said that?”

“I could lie,” sighs Namaari, “but you’re clearly here for the same reason I am.”

“Oh, you’re robbing Dang Hai, too?”

“Don’t _say_ —” She resists the urge to rub her temples. “Who do you work for?” Namaari asks. “Is someone supposed to be watching you?”

“Right!” One hand rises to screw an earpiece into the hacker’s ear. “Almost forgot to put it back in,” she chuckles. “Thanks, stranger.”

Speechless, Namaari can only watch as the stranger cocks her head and carries on a one-side conversation.

“Yup!”

“Yup.”

“Uh huh.”

“Not... exactly.”

“You don’t need to _yell_ , Boun. She’s really nice!”

Namaari would really like to get into the server room, but the stranger seems content to lean against the door, playing with her mane of pale purple hair as she chatters on. Namaari could _make_ her move, but using force against someone this oblivious just seems sad.

Lulled by the other woman’s complete lack of concern, she almost misses the brush of footsteps in the hall behind her.

Almost.

Namaari drops to a crouch just in time. Instead of the side of her head, the kick grazes her uniform hat, knocking the cap to the floor. Fists snapping up, she turns, keeping one eye on the naïve hacker in case it’s all just an act.

But when she sees her would-be ambusher, Namaari suddenly has no attention to spare.

“You!”

“Namaari!” Raya matches her tone with a grin. “What a surprise!” Her smile drops, taking the friendly tone with it. “ _Not_.”

“I should have known.” Namaari lets herself straighten, guard relaxing the tiniest fraction. Raya _probably_ won't sucker punch her. “Whenever I find a Dragon Key, there you are.” She feels the corner of her mouth tick up. “Always two steps behind, _dep la_.”

Raya snorts. “You _cheated_ back in Tail.”

She manages not to smirk too broadly. The Dragon Key in Tail had been kept in a vast temple, filled with traps of the rolling-boulder and poison-dart variety. While Raya worked her way through the deadly obstacle course, Namaari simply parachuted down and drilled an entry point into the final chamber. The look on Raya’s face when she staggered in to find Namaari waving down through the newly installed skylight still gives her a warm fuzzy feeling.

“Whatever you have to tell yourself,” she replies.

Their eyes lock, the air between their faces crackling with familiar energy. It’s always been like this with them. A contest, a rivalry that’s spanned four countries and twice that many years. Sometimes, Namaari almost enjoys it; the clash of wits, skills, and occasionally fists that has occupied a corner of her thoughts ever since she and Raya met trying to steal the same dragon scroll.

And now here they are again, both eyeing the same prize, both too stubborn to—

“Hiya, boss!”

“Gah!” She lets out a mortifying squeak as the hacker pops up beside her, skipping past to hang off Raya’s arm.

“Sisu,” grumbles the taller woman. “What did I tell you?”

A blank grin. “Oh, tons of stuff!”

“In and out,” Raya hisses. “ _In_ and _out_. Not in and ‘stop to chat with my nemesis.’”

“Oh, this is _her_?” The woman turns her wide smile on Namaari. “Hi! It’s very nice to meet you. I love your hair—”

“Not _now_ , Sisu!” Namaari watches Raya give her accomplice a fond shove down the hall. “Get out of here, okay? Back to the others.”

“Whatever you say, chief.” Leaning around Raya’s shoulder, Sisu gives Namaari a wave. “Bye, Namaari—”

“Go!”

As the hacker’s footsteps patter away, Namaari shakes her head. “She’s new.”

Raya lifts an eyebrow. “Jealous?” she asks, lifting one knee in a stretch.

“I mean _new_. Inexperienced.” Namaari rolls out her shoulders and bounces on her toes. “She can't be very skilled.”

“Yeah, still sounding jealous,” snickers Raya, flexing her fingers one by one. “So,” she says, tone conversational. “Since you're always ‘ _two steps ahead_ ,’ I assume you already know aaall about the defenses Dang Hai's got around his key.”

“In his penthouse complex,” Namaari supplies.

“Yes, _obviously_ it’s in his penthouse,” Raya snaps. “At the very center of Talon, past layers and layers of private thugs.”

“And cameras.”

“I was getting to that.”

“Sure. Just like you were getting to the biometric scanners.”

Raya scowls. “And once you’re inside, don’t forget about the infrared tripwires.”

“I won't. You just make sure you don’t get lost. I hear the complex is built like a maze.”

“Worry about yourself,” laughs Raya. “You haven't even mentioned the pressure plates and the paralyzing gas.”

“Well, I had to leave _something_ for you.” Namaari finishes stretching with a soft grunt. “I think that about covers it,” she muses, starting to unbutton her suit. She takes silent satisfaction in the way Raya’s eyes bulge when she sees the matte white catsuit underneath.

“Shouldn’t you be wearing black?” she asks, trying to sound dismissive even with her gaze riveted to Namaari’s fingers.

“Black is for amateurs.”

Raya rolls her eyes. “You want a head start? I know you haven't gotten to stick your thingamajig into the secret computer boxes.”

“Plug my cyberinfiltration spike into the security servers,” translates Namaari.

“Oh, don’t pretend you know what that means any more than I do,” Raya scoffs, her eyes bright and alive. Namaari can feel a matching energy thrumming under her own skin, both of them eager to test themselves and each other.

“No need for a head start,” she answers. “You could use the handicap.”

“Careful, you’ll hurt my feelings.” Raya’s exaggerated pout is undermined by the grin struggling to peek past. “On five, then?”

Namaari nods. “One...”

“Two...”

They both start running on the count of four.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Namaari and Raya's respective heists go all according to plan... until they don't.

So, it turns out Dang Hai _isn't_ stupid enough to keep his Dragon Key at the center of his heavily-guarded penthouse.

Of course, Namaari and Raya only discover this when they finally enter the combination vault and panic room several hours after beginning their race.

Raya takes the head-on approach, dealing with the security measures one by one with the help of her motley crew. They move through the floating resort with what can only be described as flamboyant subtlety; hacking cameras, misdirecting guards, and evading traps; all leading up to Raya herself cracking the elaborate final lock in record time.

It’s all very cinematic.

Namaari, meanwhile, sticks to scaling walls and skulking through service corridors. What she lacks in exotic skills, she makes up for with catlike agility, excellent grip strength, and a cyberinfiltration spike feeding blind spots to her heads-up display. She leaves as little trace as possible, only emerging from the shadows to knock out an inconveniently-placed guard or steal a dangling key card.

The vault door is bypassed entirely by squeezing through the vents that let Dang Hai breathe inside his otherwise airtight bunker. But when she drops into the inner sanctum, Raya a split second behind, all they find is the man himself, wearing a smug grin above his stupid ponytail-beard. Then the floor turns out to be electrified and the next thing Namaari knows, she’s in a cell.

A cell across from Raya, which is a thin silver lining. At least they’re _both_ being delayed. And it is just a delay; Namaari is already working on an exit strategy, and she’s sure Raya isn't far behind.

While she works, Namaari strolls to the front of her cage. From the plans she studied, she knows the brig is smack-dab at the center of Talon’s casino district, which explains the chiming, jingling, and cries of triumph and-slash-or despair that leak through the walls.

Personally, she would question the wisdom of putting your primary jail so close to your customers, but Dang Hai seems to appreciate the intimidation factor. _Out here_ , the brig seems to proclaim, _I am the law_.

Talon isn't so much a boat as a city someone forgot to tie down. Presumably it was near land at some point, but through the magic of tides, currents, and probably some very large motors, the resort-casino now floats freely in international waters.

It’s a massive, impressively outfitted structure, though Namaari can't escape the feeling that it’s a stiff wind away from falling to pieces. Her route through the lesser-seen areas of Talon did nothing to ease this suspicion—it is _much_ too damp in the service tunnels. Isn't the point of a boat to keep the water _out_?

“Jade for your thoughts.” Raya’s voice drifts across the space between their cells.

“Just reviewing our race,” retorts Namaari. “Technically, I was first into the vault.”

A scoff. “Into the trap, you mean.” Raya rests her chin on the bars, grinning face squashed into a leer by the metal grid.

“You look ridiculous,” mutters Namaari, but the barb is halfhearted. It’s true: she was fooled—by _Dang Hai_ of all people—and now she’s locked up, her best set of gear confiscated. Raya’s adorably hideous face is small comfort.

“Besides,” continues her rival. “You just went _around_ everything. Just like you did back in Tail. Always taking the easy way, Agent Undercut.”

Namaari shoots her an unimpressed look. “I’d like to see you suction-cup your way up six stories of glass or crawl through a quarter mile of leaky metal piping,” she defends. “Believe me, there was nothing _easy_ about it.”

“That explains the catsuit.” Raya’s eyes flicker down before she forces them back up, her cheeks darkening. “Seriously, though. It’s like you _try_ to take all the fun out of it.”

“I don’t do this for fun,” Namaari says. “And I need to think outside the box. _I_ don’t have a pack of loveable misfits propping me up. I—”

“Work alone,” Raya chimes in. “Yeah, you’ve mentioned.” She leans back with a shrug. “I still say you're missing out.”

“Forgive me if I don’t put much faith in your judgement.” Namaari shakes her head. “I can't believe you have a _baby_ on your crew.”

Raya bristles. “I had to hire the baby! The monkeys refused to work with anyone else!”

She stares at the woman in the opposite cell. Then, slowly, deliberately, she knocks her forehead against the bars.

“ _How_ are _you_ my biggest competition?”

Namaari is a highly-trained government agent. Raya is a glorified grave robber and magnet for the absurd. It shouldn’t even be a contest, and yet... here they are.

“Last I checked, it was because I am the proud owner of two Dragon Keys.”

Namaari looks up. “Two?”

“Mmhm.” The other woman tries to act modest. She’s real bad at it. “Picked up Spine’s a few months back. Wasn’t even that hard.”

“Really,” growls Namaari.

Her hunt for Spine’s Dragon Key had led her to a miserable shack in the middle of nowhere, crammed full of traps. Traps that killed. Traps that... trapped. Traps that made you itch in some very uncomfortable places. On top of that, the frozen bamboo thicket forced Namaari to hike there instead of skydiving in, which was just plain inconsiderate.

And of course, when she finally made it inside, the prize was already gone, the hut deserted. Her intel had said the key was in the hands of a reclusive man renowned for his paranoia and love of pain. Others’ pain, Namaari assumes, but really, who knows? Either way, she can't imagine him surrendering his key, but apparently, that’s what happened.

“He just... gave it to you?” She squints at Raya, who gives her hair a smug toss. “And joined your team?” She feels a spurt of what is definitely not jealousy. Namaari can't be jealous; she’s the one who turned down Raya’s offer of partnership a few years back. And maybe, kind of, also got her framed for art theft.

To be fair, she _was_ guilty of art theft. Just not this particular art.

“I asked nicely,” her rival smirks. “You should try it sometime.”

Namaari rolls her eyes. “So we’re tied,” she grumbles. “Two keys apiece.”

“Congratulations! You can count!”

“How has no one stabbed you yet?”

Raya makes a face. “Okay, let’s not talk about stabbing inside the creepy murder dungeon.”

“Agreed,” mutters Namaari. “It’s time I left, anyway.”

Raya takes the announcement in stride, merely moving to the front of her cell for a better view. After several seconds of expectant silence, she clears her throat.

“Namaari? Did you... do it yet?”

“I can't with you watching!”

“Oh, _sorry_. Should I turn around?”

“Maybe!” Namaari admits. Fortunately, the echo of footsteps soon distracts them both. They peer down the hall to see a tall shape approaching, draped in a cloak and topped by a straw _salakot_ hat.

Namaari eyes the new arrival, fingers tightening around the bars. Has Dang Hai decided to just get rid of them? He’s always been impulsive, but she thought he’d at least come to gloat first. The figure stops before Raya’s cell, and Namaari tenses, glaring daggers into their back. She won't let—

“About time,” whispers Raya, and the tall stranger... falls apart?

Namaari blinks as a line of small heads poke out of the collapsed cloak. One, two, three monkeys and a baby, the latter brandishing a key with a cheerful squall.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

Raya steps out of her cell, picks up her coat and hat, and sweeps the latter in a mocking bow. “You snooze, you lose, dep la,” she says, straightening. Then, with a final wink, she and her pint-sized rescuers make their escape.

“Everything about you is ridiculous!” Namaari whisper-shouts after her.

Once Raya is safely away, she braces herself, reaches into her mouth, and yanks out the microexplosive masquerading as one of her molars.

You know, like a _normal_ person.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The idea for the (mostly off-screen) heists is that while Raya and her team pull their own little _Ocean's Eleven_ , Namaari is off _Mission: Impossible_ -ing in the background.
> 
> I think I'll be going with Tuesday/Friday updates, to not drag this out. Hope you enjoyed the chapter!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> BETRAYAL!

Namaari watches from the rooftops as Raya follows the baby and her trio of monkeys through the Talon streets.

Sadly, she wasn’t able to retrieve her gear before the sound of her explosive escape brought the guards running. She has backup caches, naturally, but those were her favorite knives! Not to mention her only headset linked to the spike she plugged into the security servers. Mother is going to kill her.

She has a vague idea she can ‘borrow’ some tools from Raya and her crew to make up the difference. That’s half the reason she’s tailing them. The other half is the growing group of goons that’s been following them since they left the brig.

Pressing herself flat to a tile roof, she watches as Raya and her infant accomplice meet up with a man that nearly fills the alley he waits in. He greets them with a booming whisper, sparing an affectionate pat for the baby before handing a small satchel to Raya.

“They found the boat,” Namaari overhears, shuffling closer to the edge of her perch. “I don’t know how. I told Boun and Sisu to lay low while I brought you the—” He breaks off to check over both shoulders, which is probably the only reason they see the lilac-uniformed men and women creeping up the alley.

“It’s an ambush!”

More of Dang Hai’s thugs block the way they entered, forcing Raya and the man back-to-back. “Noi!” she calls, scanning the ground. “Monkeys, get her clear!”

From her vantage, Namaari sees it before either of them. The man notices a moment later, broad form seeming to shrivel as he sees a chubby-cheeked face glaring haughtily from the arms of the lead guard.

“No,” he rasps. “Little Noi, how can this be?”

Today is really a new low for Raya, Namaari reflects. First she gets captured by Dang Hai and his man bun, and now she’s been double-crossed by someone still in diapers. Noi babbles something dismissive-sounding, and the big man slumps to his knees, giving no resistance as the goons move in.

Namaari’s mind races through her options as the bag of Dragon Keys is wrestled from Raya’s hands. She managed to lift a few pairs of handcuffs on her way out of the brig, she still has two small knives the guards didn’t find when they searched her, the antenna on the corner of the roof could serve as a decent spear... and of course she still has a few teeth to throw if she has to.

The head thug backs out of the alley, her underlings closing ranks before her. She barks out a gloating goodbye, then legs it toward her employer’s penthouse with the keys under one arm, the baby in the other, and the monkeys scampering at her heels.

Namaari could go after her. One thug would be child’s play, and the keys are _right there_. But there is more than one thug in the alley below, over a dozen closing in on Raya and her friend.

 _They’ll be fine,_ she tells herself. He’s huge and she’s _Raya_. They can take twelve goons, no problem! Namaari slithers back up the slope of the roof, rising to a crouch as her eyes follow the fleeing guard captain. So what if they’re unarmed and surrounded with nowhere to run? They’ll be _fine_.

Five seconds later, she lands feetfirst on a pair of thugs, snapped-off antenna descending on a third. Her arrival stuns the others long enough for Raya to break a nearby broom in half, discarding the straw to arm herself with a pair of makeshift arnis sticks.

“Get up, Tong!” she urges, far more gently than Namaari would have. “Survival now, breakdown later!”

Blunt, maybe, but it works, spurring the giant onto his feet and into action. Namaari catches the glint of tears on his cheeks as he swats down a line of attackers, broad face twisted in a soggy grimace. Wincing, she turns back to Raya.

“I leave you alone for five minutes, and look what happens.” She meets the other woman’s eyes to see a flash of emotion within. Relief and... something else.

Raya manages a thin smile. “In my defense, who could have seen this coming?” she says, stepping up to Namaari’s side as Dang Hai’s thugs charge.

They can only advance two at a time, but the commotion is drawing more from the street, filling the alley with an endless stream of lilac. The security forces throw themselves forward with stun batons and forked poles, new goons stepping in whenever one falls.

Namaari sinks into the brawl, letting herself fill the spaces that Raya leaves. She’s only mildly surprised at how well they fit together, years of rivalry giving each a sixth sense for her rival’s movements. One steps in as the other twirls back, one blocks as her partner strikes, dancing past one another with no space to spare.

The onrushing guards are no match, swinging haplessly for five seconds at most before collapsing against the alley walls. But as good as they are, it’s not enough. Every ineffective lunge forces them back another fraction of an inch, until they’re almost touching Tong’s looming back.

Then a buzzing _honk_ fills the air. The sharp rumble of a motor isn't far behind, and a split second later, a three-wheeled tuk tuk careens into the mouth of the alley. A tiny brown face barely peeks over the steering wheel, its only visible features two eyes the size of shrimp bowls and a shock of black hair.

“Boun!” Tong roars. “I told you to stay safe!”

“Well it’s a good thing I’m bad at following orders!” the child—the _actual child_ —fires back, slowing down barely enough for them to all pile on. The tuk tuk sags alarmingly under Tong’s bulk, but as they regain speed, the added mass makes them unstoppable.

As they barrel down the alley, Dang Hai’s goons flatten themselves against the walls to avoid being steamrolled, except for one unfortunate woman who is plastered against the windshield with a comical _thunk_. For a heart-stopping moment, Boun is driving blind until Tong reaches out and tosses the bug-eyed goon aside.

They erupt onto the main street with a collective shout, the tuk tuk tipping to one side before Boun yanks on the wheel, does some magic with the pedals—which he can only push with the two short planks strapped to his sandals—and points them more or less straight down the road. In minutes, Dang Hai’s forces are left behind, and the boy slows to a slightly less terrifying pace as he steers them through the floating city.

It’s only now that Namaari realizes she’s practically in Raya’s lap. This is less momentous than it could be, considering both of them are in full contact with the mountain of hair and sweat that is Tong. All the same, she nearly leaps from the taxi at the feel of an arm around her waist, tugging her flush against Raya’s solid form.

“Just making sure you don’t run away,” says the other woman, words slightly muffled by Namaari’s shoulder. “We owe you now, which means you’re sticking with us.”

“Is that how it works?” she manages, wondering if Raya can feel her heart thundering against her ribs.

“Yes,” Raya claims.

“Yes,” Tong grunts.

“I guess,” Boun agrees, once Raya kicks the back of his seat.

“See?” she says. “You’re outvoted.” For the smallest sliver of a second, Namaari imagines she feels the arm squeeze a little tighter.

“Well,” she sighs, resigning herself to her fate. “it’s not like I have any better offers.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Namaari: I _just_ escaped, so I'll probably lay low. You know, try not to dig myself any deeper...
> 
> Raya: Is in danger*
> 
> Namaari: Fetch me my shovel
> 
> *Danger due to someone not named Namaari


End file.
